Dear Santa,

Merry Christmas. I hope you’ve had a good 364-day vacation doing absolutely nothing. If I’m being honest, I don’t believe in you anymore. If you’re really from the North Pole, then why do all my gifts say they’re “Made in China?” But even if you’re a global marketing scheme, I figured I should still write you a letter.

I don’t want stupid toys or sports equipment; I barely go outside anyway. This year, I want subscriptions to my favorite online sites! First, I would like a Spotify Premium subscription, so I can maximize my Spotify Wrapped statistics, duh. Next, I would also like Clash Royale’s Pass Royale, because who has the time actually to get better when you could just pay to win? Most importantly, I want a Twitch Premium subscription so I can watch my favorite streamers all day, every day, such as Jasontheween or Lacy, FaZe Adapt; I spend so much time watching them that they’ve become my new best friends.

I know my mom always tells me Christmas is the season of thoughtfulness, love and giving, but then why do I always get the worst gifts? Last Christmas, my grandmother gave me a pocket watch that had supposedly “been in our family for centuries,” but what was I meant to do with a rusty, old watch? Instead, I traded the watch in for the new “NBA 2K25” video game I actually wanted. My mom, likewise, gave me my baby book from when I was an infant. A terrible gift, I started getting bored on the first page. She should really know me better. Anyway, I will give you the chance to remedy their mistakes by giving me everything on my list, because I thought long and hard about the streamers I love, the things I want, and the gifts I deserve.

From,

Bryce Yao (’28)