At TAS, we’re told not to share our college acceptances—to be considerate, to avoid comparison, and to keep things respectful. Success, we’re reminded, should be celebrated quietly. We don’t post big announcements, we don’t make celebration speeches, and we definitely don’t walk around telling everyone where we got in. At TAS, no one announces their college acceptances. Right?

Well — no. The hoodie shows up the next day, and it’s definitely not just a “random” outfit choice. 50 Instagram stories all for their “best friend” appear for a few hours and then mysteriously disappear. Someone casually says, “Congrats,” and suddenly the entire grade knows. 

So why does this rule exist? Ms. Hamre, the director of high school college counseling, explained why this rule exists: “The news of college acceptances can be very personal,” and “not everyone is receiving the same good news,” which is why students are encouraged to celebrate appropriately. She also notes that “disruptive tears or cheers in a public manner is not the best way to process this time of the year,” stressing the need to keep the school environment respectful, especially since seniors are considered role models.

To be completely honest, that perspective is understandable. Not everyone is getting the news they hoped for, and for some people, this period can be difficult. Having space to process that privately matters, and the intention of trying to keep things respectful is valid.

However, the issue isn’t the intention behind the rule but how it actually feels and plays out for the students. After years of effort — late nights, stress, and everything in between — being expected to stay quiet about where that hard work led off feels different from what these moments should actually feel like. And beyond that, after spending years with the same people and building friendships along the way, everyone is now about to go in different directions. At a moment that is both so meaningful and bittersweet, not being able to celebrate each other’s success openly feels…off.

Graduating senior Vina Hung captures this tension, explaining that “When your friend gets into a school they’ve worked so hard for, your first instinct is to be proud of them, not stay quiet. It feels strange that something so happy has to be toned down.”

Instead, what this creates is a strange, in-between culture. People don’t post, but they hint. They don’t announce, but they imply. They don’t celebrate loudly, but they don’t stay completely quiet either. And because no one says anything directly, people start trying to figure it out on their own. Rather than everyone openly celebrating everyone’s success, it turns into “Wait, where did they get in?” or “Did you hear about them?” Conversations happen in whispers, screenshots get passed around, and people piece together information through Instagram stories, hoodies, or what their friends mention. The intention behind the rule is to reduce unhealthy comparison, but in reality, it does the opposite. Instead of comparison being less direct, it becomes something people actively seek out secretly, making it more deliberate, more awkward, and ultimately more intense.

This is where the rule starts to lose its effect. As senior Brendan Hsu points out, it’s “poorly enforced,” meaning students are told not to share, but nothing really happens if they do. “It’s a rule not to share,” he explains, “but how do they actually punish those who break this rule?” The truth is—they don’t. He continues on, saying how “no one actually does anything when this rule is broken.” Because of this, students aren’t really following the rule, but just working around it, which only reinforces the same indirect in-between culture, where people are still sharing their outcomes, just in quieter and more subtle ways, causing more quiet comparison to happen.

At the end of the day, the intention behind this rule makes sense — people deserve privacy, and not everyone is celebrating the same outcome. But the way it plays out at TAS doesn’t really achieve that. Instead of figuring out how to reduce comparison, the current approach often ends up amplifying it, pushing comparison into a quiet but more awkward form where everyone still finds out anyway.

With that in mind, the solution isn’t to stop students from celebrating but should be about helping them understand how to do it. Instead of discouraging celebrations and announcements, the school could focus on teaching students how to handle both success and disappointment in a healthy and respectful way so that people can still feel happy about others’ achievements. 

For example, during graduation, students who want to share where they are going could have the option to wear university caps, pins, or small decorations that represent their future schools. The school could also include an optional moment where seniors can choose to allow an announcement of their college decision when they walk across the graduation stage, while students who want to keep that information private are not pressured to participate. This way, students are able to celebrate what theyve worke for in a meaningful way, while still creating space for those who may need privacy.

Because in the end, celebration and consideration should be able to exist together.