Recently on social media, particularly during the summer of 2025, a new version of masculinity has risen, with the term “performative male” becoming a viral social media trend across platforms such as TikTok. This trend curates a new image of masculinity: a man who drinks matcha lattes, has a Labubu doll clipped on his jeans, carries a tote bag, listens to pop artists such as Clairo or Laufey, reads self-improvement books or “how to be a better boyfriend” books and advocates for female equality. This so-called “performative male trend” is simply describing the idea of “soft masculinity,” where men adopt traditional feminine traits and socially curate themselves to appeal to the female gaze, hoping this makes them more approachable and attractive. In short, they lure women into a false sense of security. 

Although on the surface, this may seem like it’s for comedic purposes, as men do it as a joke, essentially to mock women and those who genuinely like drinking matcha lattes or advocating for female rights, it brings up the issue of intent. When men adopt these traits to receive social validation and attention instead of expressing who they truly are, their actions lose meaning. 

Though, this kind of performance isn’t new. In the past, men were expected to display toughness and dominance to be accepted, as those were the gender norms at that time. Now, some perform progressiveness, emotional intelligence and vulnerability. They both serve the same purpose: to fit into the social norms and expectations to gain approval. 

In addition, there’s a concept of gender performativity that further explains this trend. According to an American philosopher, critical and queer theorist, and activist Judith Butler, none of us are simply born “masculine” or “feminine.” Gender is formed by “stylized repetition of acts through time,” such as how we dress, speak and act. This stylized repetition is either praised or disliked by society, and this shapes what we believe is “normal” for our gender. So, although this highlights that everyone performs their gender to some degree, the difference is in whether it’s authentic and genuine, hence why this trend is receiving so much hate. Men are expressing softer traits to attract attention, and thus, completely ignoring whether they’re being genuine. 

Furthermore, despite how this so-called “performative male” trend focuses on expressing a softer masculinity, it mirrors the “red pill” content it tries to oppose. The “red pill” content refers to the view that society is dominated by women; thus, the manosphere, an online community, was created to promote misogyny and traditional gender roles. Even though the “red pill” idea focuses on presenting toughness, aggressiveness, and suppression of emotions, and the “performative male” focuses on vulnerability and presenting a softer masculinity, both groups are inauthentic and have the same motive: to stand out and to be seen. 

The idea of gender is constantly evolving, slowly moving away from traditional definitions and social norms. And in this context, some men are moving away from traditional masculinity and towards a more flexible understanding of vulnerability, empathy and open communication. However, there’s a constant doubt about whether men are doing it for themselves or for validation, causing many to feel the need to assert the fact that they are kind and supportive to women. The solution isn’t another trend or label; it’s the consistency in practicing progressive traits behind the scenes. I believe that if you’re a genuine guy who truly wants to understand the struggles women are facing in our modern society and genuinely wants to be better, then it will show through your actions in the way that you’re carrying yourself. There is no need to purposely act like you enjoy drinking matcha lattes or listening to Clairo just because it’s mostly consumed by females. You may think that women won’t be able to see through your act and intentions, but your actions speak a lot louder than you think it does.