Do’s: 

• Make time for your friends

• • Being in a relationship doesn’t mean focusing solely on your partner while pushing your friends away. Unlike romance, which can fade, friends are always there for you, sticking with you through your highs and lows. Constantly choosing your partner over your friends builds resentment and isolation. In a poll we conducted on the TAS Blue & Gold Instagram, 78% (51 of 65) agreed that you should not prioritize your partner over your friends. 

• Communication is key

• When problems arise in a relationship, you and your partner should work to solve them. According to “The Good, the Bad, and the Snuggly: Are High School Relationships Worth It?” author Dylan Lanier stated that, “If someone treats…miscommunications as dealbreakers, neither they nor their partner will learn how to work through relationship problems.” So make sure to communicate with your partner clearly and work through your problems! 

• Split the bill

• • • Another prompt in our poll revealed that 65% (48 of 74) believed high school students should split the bill on dates. Without adult salaries, students shouldn’t follow the norm where one person is expected to pay for everything. By sharing expenses, couples are able to ease financial stress and ensure that no one feels like a freeloader. 

• Keep your boundaries in check 

• • • Boundaries should be clearly communicated at the beginning of your relationship, ensuring mutual respect. 65% (45 of 69) of TAS Blue & Gold poll voters opposed giving their partner access to their phone. This moderate division of votes emphasizes how people’s boundaries differ. So, communicate your physical, mental, and emotional boundaries up front to prevent any future misunderstandings and uncomfortable situations. 

• Be true to yourself

• • Compromise is crucial for a healthy relationship, but don’t sacrifice your individuality to accommodate your partner’s ideals. Pretending only leads to burnout and inauthenticity; someone who loves you will embrace the real you. If they dislike the real version of you, then walk away and find someone who celebrates your true self.

Don’ts: 

• Let your grades slip 

• • Sometimes you feel the need to stay up late texting your partner when you should be studying for a big upcoming test. You end up feeling regretful when you get that test back and see a “come find me during FLEXlex” note from your teacher. A good partner should want you to prioritize school, not distract you from it.

• Expect them to do everything you see online 

• Social media often paints an unrealistic image of relationships, such as receiving flowers on every date or making grand gestures only seen in movies. By not holding your partner to these standards, you can focus on the real and meaningful moments that actually build a healthy relationship. 

• Force them to choose you over everything else

• High school students typically have busy schedules and other priorities such as school, family and extracurriculars. Several students agreed that demanding constant attention and expecting your partner to abandon their commitments for you isn’t respectful or healthy. Ariel C. (‘27) stated that: “Someone who truly likes or even loves you should be willing to compromise and negotiate to find what’s best for both of you.”

• Feel like you need to rush

• • • Once you are in a relationship, don’t rush the process. “Take it slow [and] don’t compare your relationship to other people’s relationships because of unrealistic expectations,” Lena C. (‘28) said. It is important to take time and truly get to know each other before escalating commitment. You are only in high school; there is plenty of time to grow, learn, and let your relationship develop naturally.

• Make a big deal out of holidays (gift-giving)

• • A vast 93% (64 of 69) of TAS Blue & Gold poll voters would prefer cheap and meaningful gifts over expensive gifts. Few high schoolers can afford to buy their partner lavish gifts. Inexpensive yet sentimental gifts, such as handwritten letters, often come across as more personal and memorable than luxurious items.